I Still Can't Say Goodbye

I lost my grandfather Ruben yesterday afternoon. He truly was my hero, and taught me everything there was to know about being a good person -- working hard and diligently, being a devoted husband, keeping the faith, getting involved in the community and neighborhood, spending money wisely, developing a keen sense of humor, becoming a shrewd Euchre player, and so much more. He was the pillar of the family, the toughest man I've ever known yet gentle and kind, and had many nicknames over the years -- Mitz, Kenobi, and Redwood just to name a few. He also was responsible for the nickname of myself and my 2 brothers -- aka "The Hoy Boys." This came about because when we would visit my grandparents (who we lived next door to growing up and saw nearly every day), my grandpa Ruben would greet us with "Hoy!" rather than "Hello." Somewhere along the line, the family came to know the 3 of us as the "Hoy Boys" and the rest is history ...

Here is a picture of my brother Peter's license plate, in honor of that nickname that has stuck for over 30 years now:



My grandfather was also a carpenter by trade and kept quite busy after retirement, working in his workshop in the back of his garage, creating all kinds of projects for friends and family. He had a remarkable knack of looking at something and figuring out how to make it in his head -- it always amazed me how talented he was at that. One summer my grandpa, my dad, my 2 brothers, my Uncle Dave, and myself built a 2 car garage with attic and workshop in our backyard, basically from the foundation up. Grandpa and the rest of us even built the trusses for the roof -- although I'm not nearly as handy as my dad or my grandpa was, I will say that I learned a lot about blood, sweat, and tears on that summer-long project. I also remember one school project I had asked grandpa to help me on -- we had discussed it the day before, and the morning he was going to help me, I woke up and walked over to his workshop around 6:30 a.m., figuring he would be getting the wood together and waiting for me. To my surprise, he had been up early and finished the project all by himself while I was still sleeping!

He made many varieties of birdhouses, and the one that my parents mounted on their back deck was a famous haven for all of the many cats we had over the years. Here is a good example of that birdhouse in full use:






I think the hardest part of the last week has been the fact that I wasn't able to go back to Michigan to say goodbye to my Grandpa. When I got the news that he was sick and had inoperable cancer, I was just preparing for my 2 weeks of finals. By the time finals were over, he was very close to the end. I am grateful that I spent almost all of my 2 week Christmas break back home and had many great visits to him. And over the last week, I was able to talk to him on the phone and let him know how much I loved him. I'll never forget the last words he spoke to me -- he told me he was proud of what I was doing in college and wanted me to keep working hard.

There is so much more I could say and yet it's hard to find the words right now too. He was a role model for myself and my brothers and I really miss him. Somehow I think he is still watching over his family...

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, and so I'll end with this video I made tonight with some of my favorite pictures of my grandpa. I want to thank all of my friends and family who called and contacted me after getting the news to offer words of comfort and support -- it really means a lot to me.