Kicked in the Teeth Again

I had to channel some Angus Young riffage after another rough Microbiology test this morning to soothe my shattered soul. For some reason I just can't seem to lick that class -- after getting an A on the 1st test, it's been a struggle to keep my head above water. To borrow a quote from President Barack Obama:



I guess that's been the theme of this quarter -- a series of highs and lows, defeats and victories.

Today it was more like this:



Granted, I have yet to fail a test (well ... this semester at least), but as I've mentioned before, if you're someone who is used to excelling academically, it's a blow and bruise to the ego to be pulling C's or getting below the class average for an exam. I'm know I'm not alone in this and everyone in my class feels the pressure to some degree. I do know that I can at least say I'm putting forth an honest and concerted effort -- if I was blowing this off or doing it half-heartedly, then it might be more understandable to see my grades slipping, but if that were the case, then I don't belong in the program anyways, right?

I bet that those of you following my blog who haven't been to grad school (or even if you have) must sometimes get a kick out of my unabashed drama. I'll be the first to admit that when it comes to throwing a pity party, I can sing the blues and dish out the "woe is me" song-and-dance with the best of them. You know how every circle of friends or family has one person who can always seems to notice the touch of grey in every silver lining? In my crowd, I'm that guy.



Hey, if nothing else, if you're feeling down yourself, then you can come here and listen to my latest rant about how tough of a time I'm having, how my head is going to explode if I have another test, how little sleep I'm getting, how I feel like I just can't get it together for one more day, etc. and then you can assure yourself "at least I'm not as pathetic as this guy -- what a sour grape! Like Mickey Ross once said in his Pyramid of Pain infomercial, "Let my psychosis work for you!"


I know it probably looks ridiculous at times, but much of the reason for starting this blog in the first place was to capture and make a record of the emotions and struggles of taking on such a significant step as PA school. So far it's by far the most challenging obstacle I've faced, and also one of the most rewarding. And at least I have so far accepted my setbacks with as much dignity as I can muster, a certain amount of kicking/screaming/whining, but most importantly, without losing my sense of humor. Once you lose that, then you're really in trouble... life it way too short to spend too much time feeling miserable or sorry for yourself like the tormented Chris Farley below:



As crestfallen as I can be sometimes, I'm also too stupid and stubborn to know when to quit trying. I'm a pessimist by nature, but a closet optimist.

On that note, here are some quotes I like about the whole idea of rolling up the sleeves and toiling away:

“Opportunity follows struggle. It follows effort. It follows hard work. It doesn't come before.” -- Shelby Steele

“I have had to fight like hell and fighting like hell has made me what I am.” -- John Arbuthnot Fisher